Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
