You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize