you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
