the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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