he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Threesome in a minivan. New low
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I smell like Dick and happiness
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
