before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
