if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
