I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
