How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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