I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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