Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
