now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so let's talk penis.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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