Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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