I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
