i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
