we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
