conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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