I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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