So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
