i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
