why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
