her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
