So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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