good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
