just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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