think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
