i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
