because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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