Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize