his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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