Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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