you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
