Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
