She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
