Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
