hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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