For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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