So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize