Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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