remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
ttyl tear gas
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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