i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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