Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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