I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
