I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
