ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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