im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Randomize
