i think my tv is drunk
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
