I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
