Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
