You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
