elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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