Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I pour the whiskey from now on
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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