Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
