Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
