I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
