I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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