So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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